Mother's Day

So, on Facebook everyone is changing their profile pictures to pics of their Mom. i changed mine to a picture of my mom from when she was visiting last year.
My youngest daughter changed hers to a picture of Cindy, her step-mom.

I am crestfallen.

I am a mother of 3 children and yet I have none.

My oldest, Anna, has 3 children of her own now. The last time I saw the boys, the youngest was about 3 1/2 months old. I met the girl when she was 1 day old. I've not seen her since. This was also the last time I saw her mother. I last spoke to her on May 27, 2010. I do not have her phone number and I do not know her address. I'm not using the grandchildren's names on purpose. It's not my place to publish them without the permission of their parents. In other words, I'm not allowed. I've few pictures of the children. Again, I'm not allowed.

My son, Raymond, lives across town at his father's. I last saw him on May 31, 2010. He came over for my Memorial Day cookout. I do not have his cell phone number and I cannot visit him at his father's house. I can occasionally call him on the house phone. If he is not home, he won't get the message I called.

My youngest daughter, Jaime, also lives her father's. She occasionally calls and asks if I will give her a awake up call in the morning. I occasionally call her to say hi. We comment on each other's Facebook sometimes. I'll text her sometimes to check on her, since texting is less invasive than a phone call. She can reply when / if she wants. After the tornadoes, I checked on her by text. I also was able to find out her brother and sister were ok by texting her. I've not seen her since last Memorial Day.

I specifically invited the kid's over for New Year's Day dinner. I've given up on Thanksgiving and Christmas, because they want to be with their dad's family then. New Year's is supposed to be my day. I thought this was a more than fair compromise. This is the day I would have my Christmas with the kids. They were too busy. I cooked a huge dinner. I waited all day long and no one showed up.

I call them on their birthdays. I have every year if I've had a phone number to call them at. They don't always answer, since they are not always at home. And I leave a message, but somehow they don't get it. It disappears from the answering machine...

Anyhow, it is coming on Mother's Day on Sunday the 8th and my birthday on Tuesday the 9th.

I'll call my mom, but no one will call me. Not even on my birthday...